Trained by Terry Real in Relational Life Therapy (RLT), my approach with couples is directive and skills/tools focused.  This means that once we identify your unhelpful patterns, and agree on the need for change, I will offer you skills and tools to change unhelpful patterns into helpful relational patterns.  This shift in patterns leads to greater intimacy and each partner feeling more understood, accepted, and supported by his or her partner. 

With RLT I can facilitate awareness and ownership of each partner's losing relationship strategy, commonly one or two of the following: needing to be right, controlling your partner, unbridled self expression, retaliation, and withdrawal.  I then work with each member of the couple to instead develop and use winning relationship strategies.